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Are you parenting or nursing?

The topic is recurrent in the experts’ discussions, and the concept of a healthy relationship between parents and children is already widespread: children need involved parents.

A question then arises: what does this presence comprise? For the time being, I will address an aspect to which the presence of parents should not be limited.

Presence is not limited to physical presence at home, it refers to company and sharing time together. Here, time together does not apply in time to change a nappy, shower, change clothes or give the fever medicine. It refers to time for play, conversation or a gesture of affection.

Both ways are important because love is not a feeling that exists in itself, it depends on a relationship that is being lived with practical care and with moments of sharing and pleasure.

There are also cases where children may only get gestures of affection when they are ill, when the pain is evident and there is no doubt that they are not asking for attention merely because they are spoilt children.

Children need affection when they are sick, but not only in these situations. If this is the case, there is a risk of making the child believe that affection depends on illness and uneasiness, whether physical or emotional. Do you know adults who can only ask for attention by complaining? And if you don’t feed the conversation, they react as if you are abandoning them.

Caring raises a child, but it is sharing that raises a sensitive and confident human being.  Caring should be spontaneous. It serves to value qualities of the child or situations and ideas that are important. But it also serves when the child is sad and needs some support and to feel that there is someone on their side, who will value what they are feeling and help them understand how to deal with what went wrong.

Although you cannot always be available to children, remember that a request for company to play is not a whim, it is a natural need that should be valued as much as a request for help.